Fight
or Flight?
Coping
with the Fear of Terrorism
By
Doug
Kelley, CH, CSL • October 2001
"The
only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
—
Franklin D. Roosevelt
The
year
was
1968, I was in third grade, and the United States and the
Soviet Union were embroiled in a psychological tug-of-war.
As a child of only nine years of age, I did not fully
comprehend Cold War events—including the threat of nuclear
holocaust—that undoubtedly spawned much fear across the
nation, and even the world.
In
the interests of preparation and preservation, my third
grade teacher, Mrs. Stokes, instructed the class to bring a
clean and empty Clorox bleach jug with us to school by a
certain date. We did as instructed, and when the assigned
day came, we filled our jugs with water, and labeled them
with our names. I vividly remember going down into the
lonely passageway—serving as a makeshift fallout
shelter—below Academy Park Elementary School in Salt Lake
City, Utah. I can even still see the Principal putting a
single drop of chlorine in each one of our jugs as we looked
on in the dimly lit tunnel. Thankfully, we never had reason
to make use of our stored water. I can only imagine how
events of that era—along with fear and uncertainty of the
future—undermined one's sense of personal security.
Then
along came the '80's and the '90's, and the fear of doom and
gloom from thermo-nuclear destruction gradually eased up.
Now
here we are, nearly two months into the aftermath of the
September 11th terrorist attacks on the World Trade
Center, the Pentagon, and four Airliners. I doubt any of us
will ever purge those vivid images of the airliner hitting the
South Tower, and the subsequent collapse of both Towers.
Indeed, these images have been burned into our national
psyche. I cannot fathom the grief and agony the family and
friends of those killed are facing, and my heart goes out to
them.
On
the heels of this tragedy—and without a moment to catch our
breath—came the current and ongoing bio-terrorism threat,
most notably, the anthrax scare. Around the world, and
especially in America, people have been jolted from a state of
relative peace and safety to a state of profound
concern—fear—for their lives, and their way of life.
Alas,
fear has tightened its tenacious grip once again.
As
a result, Americans are turning to counselors and therapists
in mass numbers to try to deal with the trauma, as well as
make some sense of recent events (if indeed any sense can
be made of it).
As
a case in point, Amy, a forty-something single mom, conveyed
to me in a recent coaching session her deep fear and
uncertainty of the future directly related to the acts of
terrorism in New York and Washington D.C. She was experiencing
terrible nightmares of the events, and was concerned about
whether any of us—including her daughter—would even have a
future. In a very sober and deliberate tone of voice, she
looked at me square in the eye and asked, "Do you think
they will kill us?"
Her
frightened and sincere demeanor deeply impressed upon me the
severity of the trauma that so many are experiencing now. In
an effort to reassure her, and to help her gain a healthy
viewpoint on the matter, I shared the following perspective
with her.
PERMISSION
TO FEEL
We
are all human beings, and a powerful aspect of our human
nature is the "fight or flight" response to fear and
danger. To maintain a healthy balance in life—not to mention
our mental wellness—we must perceive and identify when
to fight and when to flee. We all harbor fear of some
kind, whether real or imagined (and most of our fears are
imagined). Harboring unrealistic fear disempowers us, and
leads to emotional immobility. Fear is also a powerful factor
in self-limiting behavior; it throws us into confusion, and
robs us of our sense of control—why do you think fear is the
primary weapon of terrorists? Aside from the threat of
immediate personal danger, it is imperative that we do not
give in and run away from our fears.
Even
though it is our human nature to feel emotions such as
fear at times, somehow we do not usually give ourselves permission
to feel these emotions, perhaps thinking that doing so
somehow makes us weak. Ironically, we still feel them anyway,
but we do so with a measure of guilt and shame.
One
of the most significant mental-wellness lessons I've ever
discovered is to give myself permission to feel,
experience, and explore my emotions as they arise, and without
guilt and shame. I invite you to contemplate the following
perspective with an open heart and mind:
"IT IS OKAY TO FEEL AFRAID IN THE LIGHT OF RECENT
EVENTS! IT IS OKAY!" You would simply not be human if you
didn't feel some fear.
An
interesting and intriguing phenomenon occurs when we cease
resisting ourselves, and accept that it is okay to experience
a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.
Emotions, such as
fear (in this case), lose their power to drag us down and
cloud our minds with dispiriting uncertainties. The energy and
control that fear once had over us drains away, placing us in
a much more empowering position to see things in perspective.
A greater sense of calm and clear thinking results.
Why
not acknowledge and take ownership of your fear? Say out loud
with conviction: "I ACKNOWLEDGE AND ACCEPT MY FEAR; AND
FURTHERMORE, I GIVE MY SELF FULL AND UNEQUIVOCAL PERMISSION TO
BE AFRAID WITHOUT GUILT!" Say it again. Be passionate. Believe it. Mean
it. IT IS OKAY TO BE AFRAID. Do
not run away from your fear!
Only
when you acknowledge your humanity by giving yourself
permission to be a real-live human being who is afraid at
times, will you be able to move forward and overcome an
unhealthy and self-limiting sense of fear.
THINKING
IN PERSPECTIVE
Once
we have permitted ourselves to acknowledge and feel our fear,
it is important to confront it, lest it run amuck and take us
with it. Fear, given free reign, is responsible for
innumerable current and historical atrocities, none the least
of which were the Salem Witch Trials in the 17th
century.
As
with most things in life, we can harbor a healthy or unhealthy
sense of fear. To maintain a healthy balance, we must confront
our fear with a rational mind; look at the current world
situation in perspective. An excellent article
from the American
Psychological Association's website (www.apa.org),
underscores the importance of perspective:
"Changing
one's perspective to match the proportion of the actual threat
can help keep the fear of
'what
is going to happen next' from growing out of proportion to the
actual risk."
Ponder
this perspective:
•
Imagine that today is Sunday,
December 7, 1941.
Japan has just bombed Pearl Harbor, resulting in 2,395 deaths,
and plunging the U.S. into World War 2. What is going through
your mind right now? Fear?
•
Now fast forward to Friday, November 22, 1963. The
headlines read, "Today the President of the United
States, John F. Kennedy, was Assassinated." This event
will be "one
of the most shocking public moments of 20th century
America" (www.atomica.com).
Now
what is going through your mind? Fear?
•
Once again, move forward to Wednesday, April
19, 1995.
The Alfred
P. Murrah Federal Building
in Oklahoma City was just bombed by terrorists, resulting in
168 deaths. Again, what is going through your mind? No doubt,
fear again.
I
could go on and on, but do you see a pattern? Has anything really
changed over the years? No. Ominous events still strike fear
in our hearts, but—at the risk of sounding callous—life
goes on, and will go on.
It must go on.
It
is obvious that we need to keep a healthy perspective with
regard to terrorism. Just because momentous and tragic events
have once again occurred so close to home is not in itself
indicative that we are any closer to annihilation
than
we were during the Cold War, or any other time for that
matter. Things happen, but they soon take a backseat in favor
of other, more pressing matters in our lives. Hence, we don't
quickly remember the fear we felt over past events.
Undoubtedly,
a major reason that so many are in fear right now is due to
continual mass media coverage of terrorist acts. One can
literally watch coverage all day and all night on TV. It's in
the newspaper every day. It's on the radio. It's everywhere.
Don't forget: sensationalism is fundamental to news coverage.
It sells.
Consider
another example: Did you know that, according to the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration
(www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov),
41,611 people
died in auto related accidents in the U.S. during 1999?
Furthermore, another 3.3
million were injured.
The
fact that every human life is precious notwithstanding, this
is far more than die at the hands of terrorists. There is only
one difference between dying from terrorism and getting killed
in an auto accident: Intent. But both happen without warning,
and both will get you killed. Can you honestly say that you
live in fear of dying in an auto accident? I'm betting the
answer is no. Then why harbor an unhealthy fear from dying or
getting injured from terrorism?
COPE
WITH FEAR BY TAKING ACTION WITHIN
This
past October 7th, the United States, with the
cooperation and support of Great Britain and many other
nations, began a long-overdue campaign to find, dismantle, and
bring down terrorist cells, including the nations that support
them. Terrorists are nothing short of barbaric control freaks
who show malicious contempt for human life. I firmly believe
in the civilized world's ability to dispossess terrorists from
their stronghold of committing crimes against humanity and
seeding fear throughout the world.
Most
of us are not individually involved directly in these actions;
nevertheless, we can still take action within. This may even
lead to taking positive action in regard to things outside of
ourselves.
Following are some practical suggestions for taking action and
coping with fear:
1.
Acknowledge
the "fight or flight" aspect to your human nature.
Give yourself permission to feel your fear, but don't stop
there.
2.
Use
your powers of rational thinking to see and understand current
world events in the proper perspective. Don't rationalize your
fear, nor go overboard. Create a healthy balance.
3.
Confront
your fear. Take your power back. Resolve to make a stand
against fear based on your inalienable human right to freedom
and to a life without the threat of terrorism.
4.
Control
what you can control. Blatantly refuse to be undermined by
unhealthy fear. Do not play into the hand of cowardly
terrorists who use fear in their attempts to destroy the
spirit and soul of humanity.
5.
Contribute
in sensible and charitable ways as available and prudent.
6.
Talk
to others. Express your feelings and concerns. Listen to
theirs. Share your healthy perspective of fear and current
world events with them as the opportunity arises.
7.
Position
yourself as a pillar of rational and clear thinking; a person
with high core values who does not buy into a destructive and
unhealthy fear of terrorism. Offer yourself as a stabilizing
influence to those who would strike out against people of
other nationalities out of fear.
8.
Limit
your exposure to media coverage. Again, use balance.
9.
Do
not hesitate to talk to a trained counselor or therapist if
necessary. There is no shame in doing so.
10.
Help
your children to understand the situation in perspective, as
they are able. They feel fear too, and don't automatically
know how to process it.
•
Yes,
it is clear that the world has undergone many changes and
developments over the past few decades. Difficult times come
and go, but we as a race continue on. With each passing
decade, humanity evolves just a little bit more. Perhaps one
day, the world and life will be far less stressful and
tense—kind of like a peaceful childhood.
As
for me, I can't help but look back to 1968, third grade, and a
world that was very different from today. Or was it?
Additional
Resources on Managing and Coping with Fear from the American
Psychological Association
(APA):
•
Handling
Anxiety In The Face Of The Anthrax Scare
•
Coping
with the Aftermath of a Disaster: John Tassey, Ph.D.,
Answers Your Questions
•
Managing
Traumatic Stress: Tips for Recovering From Disasters and Other
Traumatic Events
•
Warning
Signs of Trauma Related Stress
|
